Just one day after the official formation of The Mild Five*, one of our number is on the front page! Tell me this hostage-saving mimic wouldn't be a proud addition to our ranks? The power to imitate terrorist leaders and command their underlings to release a bunch of hostages (more or less) is so awesome I think this guy's probably too powerful for us. I mean, he's not an A-lister. He's not hanging out at Wayne Manor or the Fortress of Solitude, but I bet he thinks he's too cool for the Mild Five* at this point. He's, at the very least, sitting with the skaters and rockers at lunch now instead of us. In fact, he probably wouldn't even deign to speak with us anymore. Not in his own voice anyway. We'd call him and he'd just mock us with his C-list power."Would you like to join The Mild Five*?"
"Would you like to join The Mild Five*?"
"Whoa. Wait. Are you getting that echo?"
"Are you getting that echo?"
"Hang on. Let me call you right back."
"Actually, don't bother."
Okay pal. But just wait 'til we tell your new "friends" about that time we decided to investigate Mr. Meanbee's mansion on Hawkeye Drive and you got scared by his dog and we had to carry you home crying to your mommy. The only thing you were mimicking that day was a big 'ol wuss.
Mild Five* Current Roster (See Comments for Original Descriptions of Powers)
Professor Punctual the Soupmaker--Duplicates soups, always wakes up in time to stop his alarm from going off**
The Human Tivo--Invariably returns to his TV show just as the commercials end
The Finisher--Uncannily always uses the bathroom when there's only one serving of toilet paper left and is forced to change the roll
I-Saw-This-One-Japanese-Game-Show... Man--If he describes a TV show to you, it will be funnier than if you saw the show itself!
Not on the Roster
Too Cool for School Mimic McGee Who Forgets Who His Real Friends Are--Is a butthead
* roster subject to expansion without notice
**immune to hepatitis
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